Éire Ghaelach – Éire Shaor
Crikey, law’ luv-a-duck! The ‘nglish meadja establishment is so bloomin’ terrified of Alex Salmond an’ ‘is SNP stormtroopers that even the toff magazine GQ has joined in the fight fer queen an’ country, lor’ bless ‘em!
“In Scotland, Salmond’s popularity rests not so much on his politics but his ability to string a sentence together – not something his two predecessors were very good at. He attracts left-wingers by maintaining Soviet levels of state spending in Scotland. And he talks about low tax, good enough for the reformed Tories. In England, his strategy is to provoke. He loves that Scottish university students pay no upfront fees, while English ones are billed. He loves that the Scottish elderly are given more expensive care – all due to the £20bn subsidy that England gives. The more Englishmen find this outrageous, the better.
And his trap? He’ll hold his referendum probably in two years time, after the Glasgow Commonwealth Games and the subsequent upsurge in Scottish patriotism (nothing stirs Scottish blood more than sporting failures). He hopes to allow 16- and 17-year-olds to vote (independence is more popular among the young). And then: the celebs. His campaign already has the posthumous backing of the Makar (the Scottish poet laureate), Edwin Morgan. He bequeathed the SNP almost £1m in his will last year. The UK’s biggest lottery winners, Colin and Chris Weir from Ayrshire, are longtime SNP supporters and are reported to have pledged another £1m to the pro-independence campaign. Then we have the bus tycoon, Brian Souter, who has already bankrolled two successful SNP election campaigns. The devoted, bearded, folk-music-loving SNP members can be expected to dig deep for a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to break free from the Auld Enemy. It’ll have the cash, the money, the glam – and Sean Connery.”
Its like wot I told ya, those Scotch are not trus’worthy, not civilized like wot we normal ‘nglish folk are. Altogether now, in yer best Vera Lynn:
“May by thy mighty aid
May he sedition hush,
And like a torrent rush,
Rebellious Scots to crush.
God save the Queen!”