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The Threat Of The Gaelic Ail-Caoíde

Three highly dangerous Ail-Caoíde militants about to stage an insurrection in Dublin to impose their Gaelic Sharara Law! Note the way their mouths are sealed with red tape as part of their evil customs. What next? Veils? Oh, the horror. Oh, the humanity. Won’t someone think of the children?

Talking of petty bigots whose anachronistic opinions are derived from centuries of colonial supremacism here comes another tirade against one of the indigenous languages of these Celtic Isles. Drew Cochrane, editor of the Largs & Millport Weekly News, spouting some ripe Daily Mail-style rhetoric for his Anglophone (and -centric) readership. Funny how people who complain about “political correctness” are the very ones the term is most applicable to?

“IT’S great to see democracy at work, or is it just plain daftness in the corridors of North Ayrshire Council?

So, more than 99 per cent of us don’t understand Gaelic, and have no desire to learn the language but, heh, that doesn’t matter. We’re getting it anyway.

The SNP-led council are so beholden to that well-known piece of legislation, the Gaelic Language (Scotland) Act that they, apparently, feel compelled to change their NAC brand logo to include the Gaelic for North Ayrshire Council.

Why would you go to such lengths to satisfy less than one per cent of the population?

They say they have a statutory duty to promote Gaelic alongside English as the language of Scotland. No they don’t. They chose to do it.

It’s a farce and I was going to say a waste of money. However, the Scottish government has set up a pot of gold for positive discrimination of Gaelic and they pay councils to go Gaelic.

However, today is another plank in the political correctness gone mad syndrome.

As this newspaper knows well, you are not allowed to say anything which is not favourable to Gaelic.

The most abuse the paper ever faced was when young journalist David Walker offered his personal opinion, in this column, that a disproportionate amount of money was spent on Gaelic broadcasting.

Gaelic fanatics issued a ‘fatwah’ and Gaelic messages were posted, swearing at him and accusing him of being a racist. They can be an intolerant lot.”

And that, a chairde, is what we call irony-free thinking.

I’m off now to hold a meeting with the other members of the Gaelic Ail-Caoíde as we strive to impose our Gaelic Sharara Law upon Ireland, Scotland and the Isle of Man.

[With thanks to our brother in Gaeldom, @MisneachNYC. May the Tuatha Dé Danann, the fíor-déithe, guide him and all of us in our great journey to martyrdom, and may we meet on the far golden shores of Eamhain Abhlach. Beir Bua!]

9 comments on “The Threat Of The Gaelic Ail-Caoíde

  1. Gaelic and English speakers are two different ethnic groups – what did you expect?


  2. “Swearing at him …” But everybody knows there are no swear words in Gàidhlig 😉

    Jānis : I don’t think you can treat them as separate ethnic groups, since a very large proportion of Scots would have had Gàidhlig (not to mention Gaelige) speaking parents or grandparents etc. Largs and Cumbrae are just across the water from Bute, Arran, Kintyre etc. all of which had many Gàidhlig speaking communities at least a century ago. Even the major central belt cities have had a constant stream of Highland and Irish immigrants over the centuries, so very few Scots can honestly claim to have been untouched by Gàidhlig and it’s speakers. The exceptions are those in the far SE who might claim Anglo-Saxon ancestory, and those in the far NE who stress their nordic connections. Nevertheless there has never been a point in history when Scotland had only one language and one culture, it has always been a political union. This makes the modern concept of “civic nationalism” easier to accept I imagine.


    • We treat Americans and Canadians as separate ethnic groups.
      A lot of them had German, Spanish, French, Italian or Polish speaking ancestors.
      But they themselves do not speak those languages and in many cases only surname reminds them of their ancestry.
      They all have changed their ethnicity and become English speaking Americans.

      Most of the Irish people changed their ethnicity in their own country.
      They have become English speaking Irish people with a separate culture.

      Language is a huge part of culture – all the idioms, slang, double meanings and the like.
      If you can’t understand the language you can’t fully enjoy the culture.

      How can you say that it’s the same culture if a Gaelic speaking person will most likely be treated as a foreigner in Dublin or maybe even arrested if he pisses off some English monoglot Garda who is not in a good mood.


      • Its more complicated than that, Jānis, but some fair points. I wouldn’t regard English- and Gaelic-speaking Scots as different ethnicities. The same in Ireland, though the linguistic/cultural divide does complicate everything. There is no easy division. Everything is blurred (to an extent). If you are raised speaking almost English in Ireland but later become an Irish-speaker what ethnicity are you?

        I fully admit the subject abounds in contradictions.


        • You could call them ethnic sub-groups, but it’s obvious that the linguistic/cultural divide is there.
          And it’s mostly one-way, because almost all Irish speakers are bilingual, but most English speakers are monoglots.
          And because of that the unifying language and culture in Ireland is the English one – like it or not.


  3. And it’s only natural – like it or not – that one ethnic group does not want to fund and support another group’s culture and language.
    Just like I don’t want to fund Polish or Lithuanian culture and language – I’m just not interested in them.


    • What of Russian culture in your own nation though? And if you were to remain in Ireland long-term, to become naturalised, what view would you take on the nation’s indigenous language and culture. Sympathy, hostility, indifference?


      • I certainly don’t want to fund and support Russian culture and language. But the Russians are more than capable of doing that themselves – and they’re also getting assistance and funding from Russia.
        I don’t view Russian language and culture as threats either, because most Russians are fluent Latvian speakers.
        If our language dies out – it will be our own fault – and no one else’s – but I don’t expect that to happen during my lifetime.

        And on Ireland…

        I certainly don’t want Irish language to die out. But I also don’t want to spend (or waste 😀 ) my time learning it.
        Because there’s no one to speak to.
        I’ve lived in ireland for more than a year – and I haven’t heard it ANYWHERE.

        To me it looks like your people just do not care if it lives or dies.

        They seem to be perfectly happy with English and who am I to judge?

        But it’s obvious – if you continue that way – Irish will die out – and government money will not save it – it’s like a band-aid on a corpse.


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