Enda "Oirish" Kenny

The 2016 Proclamation Of The Irish Republic Inc.

Enda "Oirish" Kenny
Enda “Oirish” Kenny

In light of Enda Kenny’s suggestion of a “new proclamation” for 2016, comes this leaked government draft:

THE FINE OIBRE COALITION GOVERNMENT
OF THE
IRISH REPUBLIC INC.

TO THE PEOPLE OF MIDDLE IRELAND

MIDDLING IRISHMEN AND IRISHWOMEN: In the name of the EU, ECB and IMF and of the emigrated generations from which she receives her old tradition of magically reduced unemployment figures, Middle Ireland, through us, summons her children to her flag and strikes for her fully-costed economic freedom in an open, unregulated, neo-liberal market-place.

Having disorganised and untrained her manhood through her radically conservative organisations, the Irish and Sunday Independent, and through her open political organisations, Fine Gael and the Labour Party, having patiently perfected her indiscipline, having resolutely waited for the wrong moment to reveal itself, she now seizes that wrong moment, and supported by Foreign Direct Investment from America and by gallant bureaucrats in Brussels, but relying in the first on her own weakness, she strikes in partial-confidence of maybe being the Best Little Country In The World To Do Business In.

We declare the right of the ruling entrepreneurial- and coping-classes of Middle Ireland to the ownership of Middle Ireland and to the unfettered control of Irish destinies, to be sovereign and indefeasible (unless a better deal comes along). The long usurpation of that right by a working-and middle-class people through elected government has not extinguished the right, nor can it ever be extinguished except by the destruction of the people of Middle Ireland. In every generation the rulers of the Irish people have asserted their right to make money and sell-out our sovereignty to the biggest bidder; several times during the past hundred years they have asserted it in arms and by shooting, imprisoning, exiling or persecuting people. Standing on that fundamental right and again asserting it in arms in the face of the Sinister Fringe, we hereby proclaim the Irish Republic Inc. as a Non-Sovereign Non-Independent State, and we pledge the lives of the dole-scroungers, water-protesters and other assorted low-life to the cause of keeping us wealthy, of propping us up through taxation and labour, and of our exaltation among the Knacks.

The Irish Republic Inc. is entitled to, and hereby claims, the allegiance of every Irishman and Irishwoman (even the council-house scum). The Republic Inc. guarantees that the rich-will-get-richer and liberty is flexible, equal rights and equal opportunities are commodities, and declares its resolve to pursue the happiness and prosperity of 10% of the whole nation and of selected parts, cherishing none of the children of the nation equally, and emphasising the differences carefully fostered by an alien Government, which have rightfully divided the Lucindas and Simons from the Seáns and Síles in the past.

Until your sacrifices have brought the opportune moment for the establishment of a permanent National Government of Entrepreneurs and Sunday Independent Columnists, representative of the people of Middle Ireland and selected by the acquisition of wealth over all her men and women, the Fine Oibre Coalition Government, hereby constituted, will administer the civil and soon-to-be NATO/Commonwealth-military affairs of the Republic Inc. in trust for the ruling people.

We place the cause of the Irish Republic Inc. under the protection of the Most High Euro, Whose blessing we invoke upon your arms (and whatever else you use to make money and pay your taxes), and we pray that no one who serves that cause will dishonour it by refusing a JobBridge placement, promoting trade-unionism, or seeking an equitable tax system or an end to zero-hours contracts. In this supreme hour the Irish nation must, by its hard work and DISCIPLINE, and by the readiness of its children to sacrifice themselves for the common good of its rulers, prove itself worthy of the august destiny to which the 10% are called.

Signed on behalf of the Fine Oibre Coalition Government:

Enda Kenny            Joan Burton

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30 comments

  1. The only freedom anyone in my family got out of 1916 was the freedom to move to England to get a job.

    1. Strange that john.
      As much As I hate the Free state..in the years 1822 to 1922..Emigration has been double of that of the 90 years of the Free State.
      So, You think they should have stayed a Brit colony.
      Or now, that your metric of emigration has been shown to be dubious. i.e in the last 100 years of Brit rule Emigration was at TWICe the level as under 90 years of Free Statism.

      So, what else have you got?

      1. Jim Connolly was a bloodthirsty Marxist, who , if he had ever got into power, would probably have exterminated the Irish middle class and turned the place into a Celtic Cambodia.

        Casement liked buggering little African boys.

        Arthur Griffith was an outspoken anti-Semite who once stated that “The Jews should be rousted out of Ireland.”

        Pearse was as mad as a hatter, and had clear paedophile tendencies.

        The 1916 rebels shot a fourteen year old kid in the back when he tried to raise the alarm, then shot some sexagenarians in the Territorial army, then shot some street traders when they objected to them requisitioning their barrows for barricades.

        The whole city centre was reduced to rubble, 300-400 civilians were killed in the crossfire, thousands of people were rendered homeless, penniless and unemployed, and the criminal element took advantage of the situation to loot the place.

        1. “Jim Connolly…..would………
          Jim Connolly….probably……”

          If your auntie had a pair of balls she…….would……..probably……be your uncle.
          More drivel from the British FAR RIGHT racist fanatics – strong on drivel, hopeless on facts.

          Here’s how your British Head of State – the Queen of England – paid her respects to Ireland’s fallen :

          1.The Queen of England – like all visiting Heads of State to Ireland – pays her respects when visiting the Garden of Remembrance in Ireland’s capital to Ireland’s fallen – including the men and women of 1916 – who fought and died for Irish freedom in this clip :

          2. Here’s how your British Army and British state officials heroes behaved :

          http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2012/apr/23/british-empire-crimes-ignore-atrocities

          “Caroline Elkins, a professor at Harvard, spent nearly 10 years compiling the evidence contained in her book Britain’s Gulag: the Brutal End of Empire in Kenya. reveals that the British detained not 80,000 Kikuyu, as the official histories maintain, but almost the entire population of one and a half million people, in camps and fortified villages. There, thousands were beaten to death or died from malnutrition, typhoid, tuberculosis and dysentery. In some camps almost all the children died.

          The inmates were used as slave labour. Above the gates were edifying slogans, such as “Labour and freedom” and “He who helps himself will also be helped”. Loudspeakers broadcast the national anthem and patriotic exhortations. People deemed to have disobeyed the rules were killed in front of the others. The survivors were forced to dig mass graves, which were quickly filled. Unless you have a strong stomach I advise you to skip the next paragraph.

          Interrogation under torture was widespread. Many of the men were anally raped, using knives, broken bottles, rifle barrels, snakes and scorpions. A favourite technique was to hold a man upside down, his head in a bucket of water, while sand was rammed into his rectum with a stick. Women were gang-raped by the guards. People were mauled by dogs and electrocuted. The British devised a special tool which they used for first crushing and then ripping off testicles. They used pliers to mutilate women’s breasts. They cut off inmates’ ears and fingers and gouged out their eyes. They dragged people behind Land Rovers until their bodies disintegrated. Men were rolled up in barbed wire and kicked around the compound.

          Elkins provides a wealth of evidence to show that the horrors of the camps were endorsed at the highest levels. The governor of Kenya, Sir Evelyn Baring, regularly intervened to prevent the perpetrators from being brought to justice. The colonial secretary, Alan Lennox-Boyd, repeatedly lied to the House of Commons.

          The British did not do body counts, and most victims were buried in unmarked graves. But it is clear that tens of thousands, possibly hundreds of thousands, of Kikuyu died in the camps. ”

          ===> Must make you very proud, eh John Cronin ?

        2. Very disappointing comment, John. Everyone of Ireland’s heroes is a child murderer and paedophile, and England did nothing wrong. I like the 300-400 civilians killed in the “crossfire.” There were hundreds if not thousands that were outright executed by British troops. Many more “emigrated” to the U.S. just like in years past, they just never arrived.

          1. The Catholic church unreservedly condemned the Rising. The Bishop of Dublin had a pastoral letter read out stating that the people had the duty to assist the forces of law ‘n’ order in repressing it. The RC church had a fairly sophisticated teaching on what constitutes a just war – ie when are justified in taking up arms against a neighbouring state, or the powers that be within your own state: one criterion was, do you have any realistic chance of winning – which the men of 1916 clearly did not: especially after the interception of the Aud. Connolly himself, when asked by a volunteer in the Citizen Army what he thought their chancs were replied “About a thousand to one.”

            The Irish Independent, the largest circulation southern Catholic paper, had a front page editorial DEMANDING that the leaders of the rising be shot.

            Getting large numbers of people killed in what was basically a hopeless cause is stupidity. Plus the economic damage took decades to recoverfrom: central Dublin looked like Dresden afterwards. Hundreds of civilians lost their lives. Thousands lost their jobs and their homes.

            1. John, much the same argument could be made against the operations of the French Resistance in France during WWII, when both Church and State opposed their actions. Who would you rather stand or identify with? The Maquis or the Vichy?

              The RC Church feared Irish Republicanism and political progressive forces in general because of the threat they presented to its hegemony. Hence the unholy alliance of the RCC and Redmond’s IPP. And the later Free State regime which inherited the political inclinations of the IPP. Holding up collaborators and appeasers as doyens of virtue does your argument no favours.

          2. The only “just” war is one you can win? Wow, just wow. The number of futile wars and conflicts fought by people suffering the most extreme of oppression and preferring death over the continued state of slavery are almost countless. Most were lost, but many were also won, That would be the same church that committed the Inquisition and took money from Hitler to stop protesting the murder of their own more dedicated flock and that of Jews during WWII? Very convincing. No need to mention any opinions of the “Independent,” as that paper’s allegiance was always very much pledged to the Empire, and still is.

  2. The Republic they fought for has yet to be achieved where the Republic guaranteed “religious and civil liberty, equal rights and equal opportunities for al its citizensand declares its resolve to pursue the happiness and prosperity of the whole nation and all its parts, cherising all of the children of the nation equally and oblivious to the differences carefully fostered by analien government”
    This part for me doesn’t need much amending

    1. Reply to An Ar Sliabh:

      It was not me that said that the only just war was one you could win: I am just saying that this was historically the teaching of the Church.

      It was also the teaching that “the worst government in the world is better than anarchy” – the clergy might not have had much love for the British Empire, or the Church of England, but (a) to repeat the question, what chance had the men of 1916 of winning and (b) what alternative cabinet and government had they planned to install?

      After the interception of the German arms (our gallant allies in Europe!!! – who had just massacred 15,000 Catholic Belgian civilians) and who were also arming the Unionists – the Larne gun running was mostly made up of German guns – MacNeill realised that any rising would go off at half-cock, and (sensibly) called the whole thing off.

      1. The killing of 5000-6000 (not 15,000) Belgian civilians by the Germans during the “Rape of Belgium” (principally in 1914-15) needs to be put into the context of the 10 million native peoples of the Congo Free State killed by the Belgians (directly or indirectly) in the preceding thirty years leading up to 1914. One is not saying the latter justifies the former but my sympathies for Belgium are somewhat tempered by the knowledge of the African holocaust.

        Likewise the British in the decades leading up to 1914 were responsible for the deaths of two or three million people in occupied or colonised territories. Not on the same scale as the Belgians, admittedly, but still hardly an empire one would wish to defend let alone lay down one’s life for.

        As for the Easter Rising it was planned as a “national insurrection” by Tom Clarke and Seán MacDermott. Had the German arms landed, had all of the IV, ICA, CnamB and FÉ personnel turned out it would have lasted several weeks or months not several days.

        Jus ad bellum is the principal of the ever-malleable “Just War Theory”. It that light the would-be revolutiona was entirely justifiable under RCC law. It was the Church’s political aims and objectives not canon law which dictated the hierarchy’s condemnations of the revolutionaries.

      2. To engage you in your questions, I do not know. I think the half of them did not know either. There were some that were apparently aware that things were not going as planned and stood down. There were some that apparently went ahead anyway praying it would work. As for the totality of the people involved being aware of what their actual chances were and the extent of their plans in the aftermath, we will probably never really know for sure. Most of those in charge were killed, and much of the available information obscured and obliterated by the enemy, both foreign and domestic. Perhaps a short life of freedom was preferable to a longer one as a slave, and a win was not even anticipated at all. But it wasn’t about the question of chances, now was it? Any fight to shake an oppressor with complete disregard for your humanity is fight worth fighting, regardless of the chances. Of course, those in power, and especially those partaking in oppression, will oppose that sentiment.

  3. There’s a truth here.mediocrity is not what we want. Are there examples of other nations where things are much better on the whole?

    1. No there isn’t – Despite all of its problems Ireland is still one of the best countries in the world to live in.
      The OP’s post reads like whining of a spoiled child.

      1. Ireland is hanging by a thread.
        It is over exposed to FDI.
        As i pointed out yesterday.
        Ireland needs to export £120 Billion Euro per year
        to have the standard of living.

        Of that 120 billion only 20 billion consists
        of goods/services made by Irish owned industry.
        that is 1/6th and is the lowest amount in the
        developed EU nations.

        And with the tax laws and the Irish inversion it means
        that any successful Irish company will be bought out/ taken over
        by foreign rivals before it has a chance to grow.

        According to Finfacts..Denmark has 30,000 firms
        involved in exporting goods/services.
        Ireland has 4,000 firms.
        http://www.finfacts.ie/irishfinancenews/Irish_Economy/article_1028609_printer.shtml

        There you are then..a real comparsion
        between success and failure.

      2. ” Despite all of its problems Ireland is still one of the best countries in the world to live in ” – Janis

        I agree with you there.
        Unfortunately, some people will always look at a 3/4 full glass of water – and only see it as 1/4 empty.

  4. Oz when I asked for examples of nations where things were better I was being genuine – better learn something or advocate better policies than simply whinging.

    Denmark is an excellent case study and a country that all EU nations can learn from. Your link also mentions that Denmark FAR exceeds the EU average for exporting firms so its a bit disingenuous to pick it out of the air without mentioning that). Denmark also has a large amount of FDI itself according to this article.
    On a separate note, do you know if Irish firms dealing in Northern Ireland are looked upon as “exporting”? I know EI dont generally want to deal with you unless you have ambition to go to the UK or further afield and so I doubt they count these firms, but in any case, we’ve alot to do here and our dependence on FDI has been worrying for years.
    Not sure exactly how we can fix this – personally speaking I’ve found EI, LEO’s and other bodies excellent once you are prepared to engage. As a manufacturer involved for years in exporting I can say that our geographic isolation is a major hinderance to the export of bulky and some perishable goods, which greatly increases our cost base before we even get product onto mainland Europe which is a major issue. Firms on mainland europe have been intertrading for generations. Our over dependence on the english language (which is also referenced in the article) is a massive issue.
    I dont understand your point about why Irish firms MUST or HAVE to SELL out before they have to grow? I’m aware of a number of Irish owned firms operating abroad with turnover in the 100’s of millions. I presume actually selling out is an internal management issue?

    1. Re selling out.
      It’s an unintended consquence of the irish tax system.
      It’s called Re-Inversion AFAIK.
      This is where a multi national buys an Irish firm,to take advantage of the Irish LOW corporate tax system.
      So, if there was an irish start-up which wanted to grow it would get bought out by a much bigger fish.
      Think how many companies microsoft has swallowed up globally.
      This is anti irish business.
      The most recent example was Shire Pharma

      http://dealbook.nytimes.com/2014/07/14/shire-and-abbvie-in-talks-over-53-billion-pharmaceutical-merger/?_r=0

      As for our geographic location.
      Containerization has meant that this is NO longer a barrier.
      You can ship a container to Europe from China a 20 FT box for about $500 US Dollar.
      Whereas it costs about $2,000 to ship the same box from EU to China!!!
      So, our location is just an excuse.
      So, If that’s the low cost to China How dear can Ireland to EU be???
      They say it costs about 70 quid to transport a box by lorry from Dublin to Rosslare !!!!!!
      Transport is CHEAP.!!!!
      So, that’s a poor excuse to hide behind.
      On average the cost of goods about 1% of the price is caused by transport costs
      China is on the other side of the World..They can supply EU and USA.
      Who made Ireland a HIGH cost economy???
      Who won’t tackle the high cost of insurance, the high cost of accountants and solictors.
      The FAILED Free state won’t.
      With SUCH rubbish infastructure Ireland has NO right to be a high cost economy.

      1. Totally agree. I call it rectal inversion (aka head up a..e). Ireland is not the only country selling out to a few rich stake-holders of international business for the sake of some reaping a pittance of a reward from multi-billionaires/milliardaires. Theft from the tax-payer by profiteers aided by those who’s campaign they funded, has become the norm across the so-called Western World.

    2. Our over dependence on the english language (which is also referenced in the article) is a massive issue.
      —————
      That’s true.

      The company that I’m working for offers its services to customers from all over the world.

      And sales/marketing people who deal with European customers are all immigrants, because the Irish are shit at foreign languages (and their 1st and national language too lol).
      I don’t know how that company could function without open borders and unrestricted immigration from the EU.

      A German emigrates to Ireland, gets hired by an Irish company and then travels back to Germany to sell the company’s services to German customers – that’s how things are done.

      Each time my company posts a job offer for a position that requires foreign language skills I immediately think: “Heh – they’ll hire yet another immigrant”.

  5. Oz, container shipping is one thing and fine for those in the sector or with the scale that justifies it but for sme’s based in Ireland it’s much more expensive to access the common Eu market. A small business with a van in Paris is a days delivery drive from most of the market where the population is – it probably costs us the same just to get into holyhead Wales and we have to contend with sterling fluctuations . This makes a major difference.

  6. Oz- re selling out- it’s still an internal management decision. And anyway aren’t an irish firm as likely to buy other international firms out while maintaining Ireland as their tax base? merger and acquisition are part and parcel of globalisation – Scale is almost always better for business. Microsoft is a very strong case study in this. Unfortunately the world doesn’t revolve around Ireland nor do our government have the power to fix all the ills of capitalism. As regards our cost base – I hope you’re not suggesting that the low paid are getting too much? Far from it

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