Mad Dogs And Englishmen: Brexit Britain Threatens War With Spain

It seems that the empire-nostalgic British have finally gone off the deep-end as right wing commentators – and former government minsters – take to the airwaves to warn the Spanish authorities that there will be no negotiations over the status of Gibraltar, Britain’s pilfered territory on the Iberian peninsular. Instead, the Anglo-Saxon hooligans are threatening to stage a maritime Agincourt against the Johnny Foreigners who question London’s control of Europe’s premier low-tax gambling den and narcotics’ entrepôt.

Yes, that big lump of rock in the Mediterranean Sea is destined to join two slightly soggier lumps of earth in the South Atlantic as totemic symbols of the United Kingdom’s resilient blitz-era spirit, as the plucky Brits brace themselves for a cross-channel contest with the evil Europeans. Back off Brussels! We want our bananas bendy and our rocks covered in monkey shit!

Of course, the British weren’t so stubborn when it came to diluting their sovereignty over the last remnant of another former colony in return for a quiet life back in the 1990s, one slightly closer to home. But then, an aircraft carrier isn’t going to do you much good on Lough Neagh…

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39 comments

  1. the UK didn’t want out of the EU – it wants the EU out of the UK
    So off to war we go – the only UK answer to anyone who flouts its “authority”
    how many young people from Scotland and NI will volunteer?

    1. Madness, isn’t it? And ex-ministers trotting out to issue vague “Remember the Falklands” threats? The British are in danger of going down the Viktor Orbán route and becoming the Hungary of western Europe.

      1. You must have heard of the ‘phantom limb’ syndrome, where an amputee still ‘feels’ the missing arm or leg. I think certain ageing Tories are victims of Phantom Empire Syndrome, it’s all gone but they still feel and believe that it’s there, they can’t come to terms with the loss.

        Meanwhile the RN has aircraft carriers but no suitable planes for them, or so I hear …

        1. Oh yes, the planes that can’t land on carriers that can’t be landed on. I exaggerate but not by much. Why on earth are the British seeking to become the lunatics in Europe’s attic?

            1. It’s going down that route, for sure. The damage the British are doing to their image in European popular culture hasn’t even occurred to the Brexiters. Do they really want to be lumped in with Viktor Orbán’s Hungary?

      2. Considering virtually all republican groups want Ireland out of the EU that must make Irish republicans deplorables eh?

        1. Er, if you mean RSF, éirígí, etc. that position makes them political amateurs. The EU is where the game is at. We should be playing that game to the best of our ability. And writing the rules of it too. Anything else is just a posturing abdication of responsibility.

    1. Exactly. I can’t see the Brits waging war over the Rock but a closed border around Gibraltar if the EU talks over the status of the colony failed due to Spanish objections would certainly be a possibility.

  2. Since we’re getting all historical-nostalgic, didn’t QEI pine over the loss of Calais … there again, forget I said that.

    As for imperial units, I heard a poem once that lamented their passing. All I can recall is the memorable closing line : “O firkin! O ell!” Look them up 🙂

    Perhaps more appropriate now than ever?

      1. OMG! I expected a tongue-in-cheek bit of satire, but FFS it’s the Torygraph and I think it’s serious. Tell me it’s not, pleeeese tell me it’s a joke. I mean the Tories are a joke but right now they’ve got an army and a navy to play with and IMO they aren’t safe left alone with a kitchen knife.

          1. Just thinking of all the ‘native peoples’ displaced to make way for CANZUK. The Maori seem to be the only ones shown at least a token of respect. Which reminds me, is the Celtic League still in business?

            1. It is indeed, though much reduced. I used to be on its Yahoo mailing list (now that is old!). Website is there but little online activity. I think it was sort of pushed to the sidelines by formerly friendly SNP, PC and SF in the 1990s. Most of its Irish politics seems to be informed by RSF, the Sinn Féin breakaway from the mid-80s. Young people seem interested. What’s left of its membership seems to be the wrong side of sixty.

              Shame. I came very late to it, after it crested the hill, but it still had potential. Without government backing, Irish or Scottish, I suppose it had no chance. But then look at the Colmcille Initiative. Who has heard of that outside of academia and a few politicos? Great potential wasted.

              1. I mainly recall the CL for its pre-internet magazine which was one of the few places where you could come across pieces in the various Celtic languages. I was never altogether clear about the politics which seemed to be driven by just a handful of individuals IIRC. As a general medium for sharing ideas and at least moral support it seemed to be on the whole a ‘good thing’. I suppose the rise of the internet, blogs etc. has led to information being so much more available, so that aspect is now somewhat obsolete.

              2. I think that would be my view on the CL as well. It has a tiny web-presence but nothing much worth talking about really. The basic pan-Celtic idea is one that appeals to me, but I grew up at the tail-end of that 1960s-90s era of Celtic solidarity among certain actvists.

  3. “We want our bananas bendy and our rocks covered in monkey shit!”

    Absolutely love that phrase. It would be perfect as a Daily Mail headline, minus the irony of course.

    And now Spain says it will not, after all, veto an independant Scotland’s membership of the EU. Looks like the shit train’s coming down the tracks, and the brakes are bust!

    1. Yes, the Spanish see an opportunity to further their ambitions and cause mischief in the UK-EU negotiations with Gibraltar on one side and Scotland on the other. Of course they are absolutely right. The nation-state sharks smell British blood in the international water, so naturally they are going to pursue their own selfish interests first and foremost.

  4. And the shit train’s got a refrigerated container absolutely jam full of illegal immigrants hidden behind rolls of Danish bacon. God is good.

  5. Yes the Gibraltar thing throws up one or two problems, hard soft borders, self determination and it’s making them look like tits. The whole thing of letting Howard come out of the cupboard, that’ll be him wheeled away again, just confirms to all how inept they are. For me hell mend them. Desserts are being prepared.

    1. It’s bizarre that a guy who was a serving and shadow minister, including a home secretary, and a leader of the Tories, could talk such nonsense. I mean, to what purpose? Referencing the Falklands on the back of a draft EU discussion document? Madness.

  6. Or the rest of europe can just gang up on england re unfinished buisness. would they be missed. would they fk.

  7. What if Spain elects a super model as figurehead, seals alliance with Trump and then crushes UK? Revenge of the Armada?

      1. I would humbly submit that my opinion is irrelevant, that it all comes down to the opinion of the serial groper in the White House. Gonna go out on a limb and suggest Trump would not.

        May fancies herself the second coming of Thatcher, and well Falklands worked out so well for Thatcher….

  8. When a proposal of the reconquista of India is published in the Telegraph (I am sure that is next after re-introducing Imperial measures), we will know just how far down delusion row they are willing to go.

      1. Fine so long as the Welsh get Brittany … hmm if we’re going down that route, aren’t the Irish supposed to have set sail from Spain (L.G.É. and all that) ?

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