Current Affairs Economics Politics

Bend Over And Spread Your Cheeks

The perfect metaphor for the Irish electorate. Decade, after decade after decade…

Not only does Irish Water want to fuck you up the ass, they want to tell others that they have fucked you up the ass just in case they too would be interested in fucking you up the ass while making you pay for the privilege of being fucked up the ass. However unwillingly!

From Gene Kerrigan in the Irish Independent newspaper:

“At first, some of us were suspicious of the fact that Irish Water won’t sell us water unless we give them our PPS numbers – and that of every child in the house.

The people who sell me electricity and gas and chicken tikka masala can deliver the stuff to my house without needing my PPS number.

My name and address – I understand why they want that on their application form. But my home number? And my mobile? And my email address? And my bank account details?

I occasionally get phone calls from scammers seeking precisely the same information.

Irish Water say they’ll “use PPS Numbers to verify the identity of the applicants”. No need, I’ll show you my gas bill, it’s got my name and address. In fact, since Irish Water is owned by Bord Gais, look it up yourself.

“Data relating to the Customer may be used for . . . marketing and credit checking purposes.” Really? I’m buying a product, not going into business with you.

According to their website, the act of giving them our personal data constitutes an agreement that they can share it with unspecified third parties. Our data can be transferred and stored anywhere in the world and processed by people doing business with Irish Water.

“By submitting data to Irish Water, the Customer agrees to this transfer, storing or processing.”

If Irish Water is privatised or part of it is sold to someone, or if they buy into another company, at any stage, our personal data, they admit, “will be one of the transferred assets”.

It’s not just the new purchaser gets our data. Irish Water “may disclose Customer data to the prospective seller or buyer”. Even those who merely express an interest in buying Irish Water will have access to all that information.

Our PPS number is the linchpin of our relationship with the state. It links to everything – work, tax, social welfare, travel, medical records, whatever. We don’t know how this “asset” will be used.

And we don’t know which other “assets” it can be linked to by imaginative young techno-nerds who spend too much time behind a keyboard (bank, credit or mortgage records, perhaps).

We can, you’ll be pleased to hear, find out what data they’re storing on us. But we have to write to a box number in Cork. And pay a fee to see our own data.”

Remember that bit in the movie “Pulp Fiction” where the dude in charge say’s “Bring out the Gimp!” Well who do you think you are in that scenario, Seán and Síle Citizen? The dude or the simpering moron in the box? And what the hell are you going to do about it come the next general election?


6 comments on “Bend Over And Spread Your Cheeks

  1. ar an sliabh

    What a racket! What’s next? Air meters? I guess the constitution, like nowadays just about anywhere is something interpreted “at-will.”


  2. ar an sliabh

    This is something I wrote in response to the “” article referring to the “cost of free water will be past on to households” a while back: During the Soviet Era, there used to be joke about socialism that referred to what would happen if socialism were to take over the Sahara Desert. The answer was nothing for several decades, then they would run out of sand. Kind of like paying for water in Ireland.


  3. They’re metering water in Roscommon, and it’s effing yellow out the tap! Boil water warning there for months and months. In America, this is what we call a 3rd world colony 😉


    • It is ridiculous is it not? The one natural resource Ireland has in abundance, water, and not only do they wish to charge us for it but even what they will supply in return for that charge is not fit for human consumption. In my home, a modern suburb of Dublin, I use bottled and filtered water because the tap variety made me so ill. My sister lives some several kilometres away and she paid thousands for a filtration system to be fitted in her house. It is simple extortion.


      • ar an sliabh

        Might as well install a cistern, purify the water coming from it, and tell them to take a hike. Maybe a little easier to accomplish in the country than in Dublin unless you live on the outskirts and have a little bit of land.


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