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Hillary Clinton, The Spirit Cooking Satanist Candidate For President!

Just when you think that the US presidential election has reached its absolute nadir, that there are no further levels of insanity that the contest for the White House can sink to, the American alt-right proves one wrong by accusing the confidants of Hillary Clinton of practising something called “Spirit Cooking“, a supposed “satanic ritual” requiring the consumption of pig’s blood, human semen and breast milk. Yes, it’s crazy, and you’d have to be a bible-chewing fundamentalist Tumpist par excellence to give it any credence whatsoever but over the last forty-eight hours the claim has grown into an actual thing on the semi-respectable fringes of US conservatism. Beginning with an out-of-context posting by Wikileaks of yet another hacked email from the Gmail account of John Podesta, a senior Clinton campaign staffer, the extreme right-wing commentariat in the United States has embraced its bat-shit craziness like never before. For those of you who keep a weather eye on such things, Twitter and Facebook is filled with references to #SpiritCooking, devil worship and other religious mythobabble centring on Hillary Clinton and her alleged coterie of witches and warlocks. I kid you fucking not.

Come back Ben Carson, you walking single-celled organism, all is forgiven!


11 comments on “Hillary Clinton, The Spirit Cooking Satanist Candidate For President!

  1. She devilintly isn’t a very pleasant entity(thanks Dylan Moran) though:

  2. Lord of Mirkwood

    The only words that occur to me are “batshit fucking insane.”

    Two more days and this is all over, but at the same time I’m petrified that we’ll actually get, you know…don’t speak its name…

  3. the Phoenix

    You don’t have to make things up to prove Hillary Rotten Clinton is unfit for office. A recent wikileaks email showed she was getting her HOUSEKEEPER to print classified documents. Hillary has reached a Monty Python level of ineptitude.

  4. Lord of Mirkwood

    I have officially, physically cast my vote for the “spirit cooking Satanist candidate.” Now, whatever else happens is out of my hands.

    • the Phoenix

      The blood will be on your hands when she starts her wars. She is the most hawkish person to ever run for president.

      • Lord of Mirkwood

        I wanted Bernie, all right? I voted for him in the primaries and supported him with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength from April 2015 until the end of this past July. I didn’t particularly like having to vote for her. Except that seeing Drumpf’s name on the ballot, and voting AGAINST it, was quite a satisfaction.

        Feel free to pontificate about how Clinton and Drumpf are pretty much the same, from your safe perch. On the ground, the prospect of having that Nazi as our leader is shit-a-brick terrifying.

        • the Phoenix

          Clinton and Trump aren’t the same at all. Clinton wants wars with Russia and dog nose who else. Trump is anti war. Why didn’t you do what a lot of other Bernie supporters did and vote Trump?

  5. How’s that wall coming along?

  6. Lord of Mirkwood

    I am sorry, everyone. I am so, so, sorry.

    I don’t know what else to say.

    • I was flicking back and forth between the Young Turks and Colbert and the sense of shock – disbelief – was palatable. Thought it might happen but still…

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